Blood Bowl: Super Goblin Shindig Squad Yeah Baby!

Super Goblin Shindig Squad

One of the Blood Bowl Team competition winners

By Ryan Furlong

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It is commonly known that two goblin teams should never play each other, such was the case here… During the infamous match between the ‘Super Goblin Team’ and ‘The Shindig Squad’, at least eight goblins from either side were sadly lost (lost as in wandered off, not killed). Eventually both teams got so confused as to which team they were on that they ended up mixing up their team kits and formed the “Super Goblin Shindig Squad Yeah Baby !!”. The ‘Yeah Baby’ was added purely in an attempt to hold the record for the longest Blood Bowl team name ever… Well… it was the only record that they’ll ever stand a chance of achieving. The actual match ended 0 – 0 after the referee stopped the game before the ball had even come onto the field, fifteen hours after the scheduled match kick-off, due to being unable to distinguish between one team and the other. They have never won single a game of Blood Bowl, let alone a tournament, though they came close once, when they held their own tournament, with only one entrant; themselves. They were sure-fire winners, but somehow managed to come in second place, because of an error on the entry form. This caused them to shorten their name to ‘Super Goblin Shindig Squad’, because the ‘Yeah Baby !!’ bit of their name wouldn’t fit on any of the registration forms… Strange as it may seem, the team are actually coached by a rock. On a pre-match wander, the original coach, Kriz P. Lipznot, drifted a bit to close to the infamous “lob-a-boulder” competition held annually at the ogre village of Ghluk. Needless to say a large stone made contact with the coaches’ head, most effectively ‘replacing’ him. On this particular day the Super Goblin Shindig Squad actually managed to draw 1 – 1 with the ogre team they played, due primarily to the fact that no one had remembered to bring a ball with them (the touchdowns had been awarded to the ogres for not eating the ref, and the goblins for not eating the grass). Regardless, the goblins saw this as a ‘moral victory’, and believed the rock had coached them better than Lipznot. To say ‘coached’, however, is somewhat of a misconception; it is more the fact that they worship the rock by cleaning it and making sure the grass around it is perfect, taking particular care of the sweet-smelling flowers that grow around it. To this day they still believe that the rock will guide them onwards to at least one victory, and it stands as a testament to constantly remind them that they are playing Blood Bowl and haven’t just come to a game stare at “Da Laydees”. It’s hard enough for a goblin to remember the rules of Blood Bowl, imagine how hard it can be for them to remember their names as well! For this reason, when a goblin signs up to the Super Goblin Shindig Squad they are renamed to the first two words that pop into their heads; this has spawned great players, such as Badgers Wrath, Fuzzy Justice and Fantastic Spanner, to name but a few. Their style of play is one so random that even trolls trying to play for them get so ridiculously confused that they leave before the match even starts. As such, only goblins are stupid enough to play for them, but having a team entirely fabricated of goblins has it’s draw-backs, but always gives them one advantage over other teams: There’s always more of them! Yet to win a match, the Super Goblin Shindig Squad march on, always hopeful, always willing, always eager, and in all ways; but in no direction… Unison of the two original goblin team kits; the red from the ‘Super Goblin Team’ and the beige from the ‘Shindig Squad’. Note: Due to mix and matching, none of the team have identical outfits and often argue over which half of the team should have the red shoes…

 

TEAM LIST

No.   Players Name     Position

1     Fuzzy Justice           Goblin

2    Badgers Wrath       Goblin

3     Funky Clam            Goblin

4    Lord of Swing         Goblin

5    Twitchy Filth           Goblin

6    Midnight Mango    Goblin

7    Crimson Apple       Goblin

8    Iced Gem                  Goblin

9    Silent Duck              Goblin

10   Coloured Impressed II Goblin

11      Disco Trevor         Goblin

12      Two Legs               Goblin

13     Fantastic Spanner Goblin

14      Drowned Puppy    Goblin

15      Roasted Goat         Goblin

16     Classic Hammock  Goblin

Apothecary: Gorgeous Trout

Owner: No-one willing to admit to it…

Head Coach: a really big rock

Home Stadium: a patch of grass somewhere

Team Colours: Beige and Red

Team Symbol: Flowers and/or Peace

Players: Goblins (no big guys)

Average Gate: 42,875

Biggest Gate: 12′ 3” by 8′ 7”, they spotted it near Altdorf…

Most Valuable Player: Badgers Wrath – 17 SPPs

Team Honours: None…

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Ryan Furlong hails from Braintree in Essex.

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